It's not easy being a Butthole. Just ask guitarist/producer Paul Leary. The Butthole Surfers' current tour is only a few days old, but things aren't going so well. First Leary's mother passed away. Then--though he can still play his guitar--he broke his right hand. "Self-inflicted broken bones," Leary says. "I hit a hard object. I wanted broken bones. I got them."

He's also not feeling too well. The Surfers are holed up in a fairly posh West Hollywood hotel, located off the Sunset Strip, but Leary suspects their food from room service last night may have been tainted.

"Man, I feel like shit," Leary says. The Butthole Surfers wild-eyed frontman Gibby Haynes isn't faring much better. He gets up in the middle of the interview and heads for the door, only to come back minutes later. "They won't let me into my room," he says. Then he heads to the bathroom. Moments later he emerges and mutters something about "making diarrhea" in his road manager's bathroom.

But not all is wrong in the world of the Buttholes. "Pepper" is the most popular song at modern rock radio and Electriclarryland, the band's 13th release, is already the best-selling effort of its career. After 15 years of slugging it out in the alternative rock underground, the Buttholes have arrived. I share the news with the band, but they're not impressed.

"Now we can join the number of faceless bands that have a modern rock hit," offers the Surfers drummer, bald-headed King Coffey. "We're this month's Sponge."

Gibby has a different take. "I think we're just riding a big Hootie backlash," he says. "It's the other side of the pendulum swing to Hootie & the Blowfish."

In a world filled with warmed-over alternative rock clones, the Butthole Surfers are still downright refreshing. "We're feeling pretty warmed-over ourselves. For 15 years, we had nothing but up to look forward to," says Leary. "Now, surely there is nowhere but down to look forward to."

Coffey has a different take on it all. "We've finally coughed up our novelty song, kind of like Ray Stevens coughed up 'The Streak,'" he says. "It's 'The Streak' for '96. It will be popular for a few months and then everybody will just hate it. Then it will be a little question for Trivial Pursuit in the year 2006."

Although the Buttholes may like to downplay their success, the fact is that the band has come a long way in 15 years. Not only are the Buttholes signed to a major label (Capitol Records), but the once-shockingly named band's video clip for "Pepper" was recently introduced on "Beach House MTV" by former Playmate Jenny McCarthy--"Butthole" and all!

In fact, the most shocking thing about the Butthole Surfers in 1996 is that they aren't shocking at all anymore. When the Buttholes recently played Los Angeles, they were booked at the Universal Amphitheatre, which sits in a major family-oriented entertainment complex that includes the Universal Studios Tour, a multiplex theater, and CityWalk, a sort of utopian outdoor shopping mall. On that warm Sunday night, not one single happy tourist seemed to mind or even notice that the Buttholes were in close proximity to their merriment.

In a few months, the Sex Pistols, another group of once-shocking lads, will play the same venue. The Buttholes aren't incredibly impressed with the possibilities.

"I saw them at Randy's Rodeo in San Antonio. I don't need to see them again," says Leary, before reconsidering the proposition. "Is it like a rehash thing or do they have a new sound?"

I inform the Buttholes that since Sid Vicious is no longer of this world, the Pistols are touring with original bassist, songwriter, and noted Beatle-lover Glen Matlock. With that news, Coffey comes alive. "Matlock! I love Matlock," he exclaims.

"Those looks that Andy Griffith gives every time he has gotten out of bed are great," adds Leary.

"About the only cool thing about the Pistols touring is that Andy Griffith is playing bass with them," adds Coffey. "I might just go for the Andy Griffith factor."

Much like the Sex Pistols regrouping, the Buttholes' success hasn't come without compromise. After receiving complaints for various mass merchants, Capitol decided to release an alternate version of Electriclarryland. Instead of that fine drawing of a pencil being shoved into someone's bloody ear, the alternate version features a close-up photograph of some furry critter. Also, the band's name has been abbreviated to "B.H. Surfers."

"We got an opportunity to have two album covers," brags Gibby. "Most people only have one."

Leary is also impressed. "Groundhogs mate for life--and I'm quite proud to have the B.H. Surfers with a picture of a groundhog in Woolworth's," he says. There's some debate whether the furry creature in question is a prairie dog or a groundhog. In the middle of the debate, images of David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar flash on the TV, tuned to MTV with the sound off.

"Is there some controversy?," Gibby asks, oblivious to the major news on the Van Halen front. Informed of Hagar's departure, he asks, "Why'd they kick out Sammy?," only to answer his own question. "Look at that, he looks like he can be in the Three Stooges."

Speaking of stooges, why did it take so long to follow-up their 1993 major-label debut, Independent Worm Saloon with Electriclarryland?

"We're retarded," Leary answers matter-of-factly. "Because King is special," Coffey adds, talking about himself in the third person. "He's a very special drummer. You have to have patience with him."

"We are the Special Olympics of the music world," adds Leary. "That's why we will really never ever get that arena-rock blast."

"That's why celebrities come and see us," Gibby chimes in. "It's like a 'Make A Wish Foundation' type of thing."

Adds Coffey, "That's why people are playing 'Pepper.' It's like, 'Aw, they finally came up with a song. We have to play this. These guys are special and we should do something to support them...It's a 'Hands Across The Buttholes' type of thing."